Losing and Finding Our Lives
Text: Matt. 10:34-42
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Anyone who has been a Christian for a while and has heard the Word of God knows that sometimes our Lord has some hard and challenging words for us. We have such words before us today. “Do not think that I have come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.” Then, as if that weren’t enough for us to choke down, Jesus continues: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
This is usually where people check out of today’s reading. It’s filed away under the category “worry about later,” or “ignore these words.” That’s because culturally we tend to be on the sentimental side. We tend to make our decisions with our guts and first instincts. We’ve been informed by Hallmark and Norman Rockwell and Currier & Ives what a family scene should look like, and what Jesus is describing here doesn’t sound like those. But I’m inviting you to hang tough and stay with me for these words of Jesus. Yes, they’ll get even more difficult, but I can tell you that it will be worth it to hang on to the end. Our Lord goes on, “And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
These last few words will be the key to unlocking these difficult words of Jesus. They show that these words are not just about being mean to family members or causing unnecessary division between relatives. Yes, these words will challenge our notions of what polite conversation at family Thanksgiving dinners can include, but the divisions that our faith can cause among friends and relatives is only a small part of a much bigger picture. Jesus’ words today are about the totality of human life. “Whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” We’ve grown so accustomed to the image of the cross as a symbol of our faith or an insignia of Jesus—beautiful in that way—that it’s easy to forget that when Jesus speaks these words, the cross was recognized first and foremost as a tool for execution. For the people hearing these words at that time, it would be like saying, “Whoever does not take up his electric chair and follow me…” It’s about dying to the world and everything in it.
Why? What can Jesus mean by all this? Why the dark, heavy words? Simply put, because it’s a matter of life and death. Think about it: if you were facing a dire diagnosis, would you prefer for the doctor to be honest and clear, stating the risks and the necessary treatments? Or would you want him to be Pollyanna about it all? So too here. What Jesus is talking about is a matter of gaining or losing everything. Our Savior knows that unless the foundation is right, our entire lives will collapse. And so He teaches us where to begin. That’s all He’s talking about here. He’s telling us to begin with His cross. We begin with His death that gives eternal life. We begin by being His children so that we can become the fathers, mothers, children, and siblings that we were always meant to be.
This might seem counterintuitive in our culture. But hear me out—or, rather, hear Jesus out. If we begin with temporal things: relationships, goods, services, houses or homes that last only this life, then that’s all we’ll have. This life. Nothing more. We might find these things, we may find our lives for a time, but what about when that time runs out? “Whoever finds his life will lose it.” So speaks our Lord.
But if we begin with eternal things, if we put all our faith and trust in the God who gives us everything good; if we commend everything to His hands, in this life and the next; if the foundation is eternal, then our whole lives are eternal.
Jesus is not telling us that the things in this life—our human connections, family, friends, loved ones—are not important. Remember, this is the same Lord who gave a commandment about honoring father and mother, the same God who is Father to the orphans and Husband to the widows. He’s not saying that only the next life is important. This isn’t just a dress rehearsal. Remember what He says at the very end of our reading today about the smallest passing act of kindness in this life, something we wouldn’t even think twice about in our everyday world: “Whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.” No, he’s not saying that the people in this world and our connection to them is unimportant. Instead, He’s saying that we need to begin with Him. Begin with the fact that He is the Giver of every good thing, even the people in our lives. Begin with His giving, with His cross, with His death, with His forgiveness. And then everything else falls into its perfect place. We see people as gifts, as treasures given by God; all the while seeing the greatness of the One who’s given them to us, and given us to them. Or, as He has said elsewhere, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
And here’s the best part: When we begin with Him and His cross, when all our relationships are built on Him and His love and forgiveness and mercy, when all these people we love are commended to His care and put into His hands, that’s when Jesus’ words give us the greatest joy and comfort: “Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Even when it feels like we’ve let go and lost control, even when it feels like we’ve lost everything, that’s when it will all be found in Jesus, cared for in His hands, tended and nurtured forever.
These are hard words for us today. But they’re only difficult words because we’re mortals. The hardest thing for us mortals to do is to look beyond the here and now. It can be scary putting our faith entirely in Jesus. Some fallen part of us will want to maintain some control, pull some strings. But look at what’s lost when we try to find our own lives. And look at what’s gained when we lose it, when we relinquish it and let it be built entirely on Him, even our earthly relationships. It can be hard to do, but that’s why He’s given us every reason to trust Him fully. He’s died for us. He’s risen from the dead for us. He dedicates every moment of eternity for our wellbeing. You can put anything and everything, anyone and everyone, into His nail-pierced hands. Find your life in Him. In the name of Jesus, who lost His life for us that we may find ours in Him. Amen.
